Today, I quit.

At least once a month I get overcome with discouragement and want to quit. 

I've been working harder on pursuing my dream of being an ARTrepreneur than anything else I've ever done. I show up every day to do the work. I put in long hours. I plan the best I know how. I'm leaning into those areas where I am weak or need knowledge and guidance. I'm doing all the things that those blog posts, websites and online courses say to do. 

The part of chasing your dream that not many people talk about is the intensity of emotion that can wash over you like a title wave. What happens when you're doing all the "right" things and you still don't seem to have the traction or results you desire?

On days like that where opportunities seem scarce, sales are low and the proverbial phone isn't ringing, this voice comes, and whispers in my ear. “Quit. This is too hard. No one cares about you or your art. Why put yourself through this? Why put your family through this?”

And then the voice plays real dirty. It reminds me of the pain of the past. Past failures. Depression. It reminds me of the pain of loosing finances, loosing jobs, loosing a community, having had to sell our house, wondering what to do next, and if this was what life would look like from now on... Experiences so painful that they still have sting to them years later. 

The voice tries to tell me that if it happened once, it could happen again. And I just can't bear to go through that again. I wouldn't survive.

And there it is. The predisposition to let the past dictate the future.

In his book, Shut Your Monkey, Danny Gregory talks about the inner critic as being a monkey. The monkey likes to keep us from becoming who we’re meant to become, and tries to prevent us from doing the work we are meant to do. His advice is to acknowledge the monkey but then tell him to shut it! Don't let him convince you to quit.

Truthfully, sometimes we do need to quit. But we need to learn to quit the right things. So instead of giving up on your dream, quit something else.

Quit the self doubt. Quit listening to that negative voice. Quit the "What If’s". Quit feeding the fear. Quit living out of past experiences. Quit the scarcity mentality. Quit complaining. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. 

But DON'T quit on YOU. 

“Quitting is not giving up, it’s choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it’s realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it’s learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”

— Osayi Emokpae Lasisi, Impossible Is Stupid

On dark days, it's easy to lose hope. It's easy to get tired and get tempted to give up. But we might be right around the bend of something revolutionary. 

So today, instead of quitting my dream, i’m quitting the belief that my past will dictate my future. I have to keep pursuing the very thing that comes from deep with in me. I am, and always will be an Artist.

What about you? When are you tempted to quit? How do you battle your inner critic?
 

Did you ever have a Dream?

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. ”

— John F. Kennedy

When I was a kid, all I ever wanted to do was draw, make cards and watch cartoons. I could get lost for hours in the act of creating. Growing up has a way of striping out one of the childhood joys, although I did manage to hang onto small parts of what was inside me in those early days. Even when it came time for college, I knew I had to go to art school, or I wasn’t going at all. It’s debatable as to whether or not I should have majored in graphic design. Some of that decision was guided in response to what kind of art doesn’t leave you as a “starving artist”.

Several design jobs and a career change into ministry, there came an inevitable ache that surfaced and wouldn’t go away. You know what i’m talking about? The kind that gnaws at you over time, always just beneath the surface. No amount of job or career change resolves it. It’s deeper than that. It’s hinged on purpose. This goes way beyond working just so you can pay rent, have a car, provide for a family. Beyond working to pay bills and for possessions and vacations. I think most people may not hate their job, but they’re not loving it either.

What I’m talking about is the stuff of dreams. That place where your very being comes alive, and intersects with your talents. That place where you are fully alive.

I’ve been on the journey towards that place for a long time. There were pit stops and false destinations along the way. But it kept calling.

What’s my dream? To create art that engages people; that connects with their hearts and moves them. Art that is helpful. I want to give myself to this pursuit fully, while being able to “make a living” from it. It’s a dream that is filled with creating in multiple formats utilizing all my talents and abilities. And the more I press into this, the clearer it becomes.

Do you know what I’m talking about? Having a dream and passion so consuming that you don’t have a choice but to lean into it?

Most of us turn back in fear at some point, or hear the “voices” of reason, responsibility, etc. They tell you you can’t do it. And too often so many of us believe them.

For me, as the passion grew, and the dream beaconed louder, all I could do was take the right next step. One after the other.

And now, it feels like my biggest step of all. I’m pursuing my dream. All in. What does that mean?

....I’m going full time into my own art business.

Sometimes it takes an event to interrupt your routine. Mine was my previous employer eliminating a few positions (mine included) due to financial difficulties.

I’ve been pondering my next steps for a while now, and it feels a bit like God has pushed me out of the nest. I’ve been doing my own art in the margins, but it feels like God has orchestrated recent events for me to seize this opportunity. To lean in to where He is calling me.

I will be looking to build up my “ARTrepreneurial” business in what has been referred to as the “Portfolio Life”. Think of it as a wheel with spokes (see drawing below). Each spoke represents a different facet of what I will offer.

• Graphic Design services
• Pet Portraits
• Pop Art (Star Wars, The Walking Dead, etc.) and Art Fairs / Cons
• Original Paintings
• Teaching (via online video courses, workshops)
• Communication (public speaking on Art & Creativity / blogging, writing, maybe even a book)

My desire is to use my art to touch people’s hearts, to provide a help or needed service. And I want to share my own journey and learnings with others, specifically artists, who may be struggling in their own creativity. Some of these areas have already been in the works, while others will be built over time. I’m sure things will look different down the road, but this is where i’m starting.

So, why am I telling you all this?

Because you have journeyed with me. You view my daily art that I post. YOU are part of MY story. The truth is, I’m chasing a DREAM. And I can’t do it alone. So I’m inviting you to PARTNER with me.

What am I asking?

1. I’m looking for new clients with Graphic Design needs, and those desiring Pet Portraits and/or Original Art and prints. If you know of an opportunity that might be a good fit for my talents, please let me know or pass my info along.
    
2. I would greatly appreciate shares, comments, and likes on social media. The more people who can see my art and know about my services, the better. Please share my website:  www.MikeBrennan.me / Instagram / facebook
    
3. Would you consider purchasing a piece of art from me? Take a look around my website or social media posts to see if there is something that speaks to you. This would greatly help me with some startup costs I have. I appreciate your consideration.    

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and journey with me. You have been an encourager of my art over the past few years, and I deeply value that. I am excited, nervous, thrilled, scared all the the same time for what comes next. My family and I are placing our complete trust in God, His leading and provision as we set out on this new adventure.

To infinity and beyond...