Felicia Day Kicked My Ass

If you’ve been following any of my adventures as of late, you’ll know there’s been some mention of Felicia. I know, you're like, “Dude, I know already… you gave her a painting you did of her… You’ve had some connection and contact online (that sound’s creepy now that I write it)… blah, blah, blah... what is she you new best friend?” (No. actually she hasn’t returned my calls yet. ...Yet. …Ok then, back to creepy).

So I’ve been reading Felicia’s new book “You’re Never Weird on the Internet (almost)” (which is on the NY Times bestseller list, so congrats Felicia)… Anyway, then it happened. Right there on the bottom of page 137. Felicia Day kicked my ass. (“Butt” doesn’t do it justice). Speaking about a time of depression and struggling to write creatively, she states: “…I was a fraud, Who was I to pick up a pen and expect anything good to come out of it? I expected perfection as soon as the pencil hit the paper…”

There it was. Her words just hung there. Stinging. “I EXPECTED PERFECTION AS SOON AS…”

I’m no stranger to battling Perfection. I’ve tangoed a few times in my life (all in the name of "pursuing excellence” of course) and every time got my toes stepped on. 

In the past, I told myself that I couldn’t really draw or paint because I wasn’t any good at photo realism. So I stopped. I didn’t draw or paint for 10-15 years. Until about 3 years ago. When I uncovered that lie and kicked it to the curb. Perfection wasn’t going to rob me of my art any more. And as a result I embraced my “mess”, which led to my loose, organic style.  I've created over one thousand works over the last few years with my daily paintings and drawing. Art that would never have seen the light of day had i continued to believe the lie.

So I thought I was done. But as I read Felicia’s words, I realized Perfection shifted focus from my art creating to my art sharing. Call it marketing, PR, sharing… it’s what follows the act of creation. The desire to get my art out there for people to see, engage with, hopefully be moved by (and even purchase).

So I do what I’m supposed to do - I post to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, a blog post, an email newsletter.... the list goes on. Perfection say "send it out there and just watch." And then… crickets. Perfection then jumps on the other side of the table and says “Who are you to think anyone really cares about your art. No one want to buy it. No ones even noticed it.” So discouragement settles in. And truthfully, it’s all so tiring.

I EXPECT PERFECTION AS SOON AS I… post about that new painting for sale. People will be clamoring to buy it. But they don’t. 

I EXPECT PERFECTION AS SOON AS I… post that new image. Just watch the likes and follows and reposts and… it floats by in everyones feed until it quietly disappears. 

This might feel a bit "Dear Diary" but if I can be honest and authentic for a moment here (I think it's popular to say it's ok, but really it makes some people uncomfortable, so they fuel the image that you have to have it all together, in public at least... but that's another blog post, for another day), somewhere I let Perfection tell me the lie that if “success” was to come, it was going to come instantly. And if it doesn't, it’s FAILURE. But there are no overnight successes. They’re only overnight to us because we haven’t known about the hard work they’ve been putting in for years in obscurity. 

No, I cannot expect perfection. And if you relate, you shouldn’t either. We need to allow ourselves some GRACE. Some Room. Some Time. As we continue to work hard at our craft.

It makes me have to face another uncomfortable question: What if no one ever notices me or my art? Is the only reward of “success” recognition, sales, shares, and fame? What if i’m destined to create my art in quite, no one watching. No crowds. No money. No applause? Would I still create? Thankfully I know my answer is YES. because to not create would cause a part of me to die. I HAVE to create. It’s part of who I am. But all the other trappings are not guaranteed. 

So while I may have to go apply some BenGay to my hind-quarters, Felicia, I want to thank you. Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable with your story. I needed it. And in turn, I hope that someone benefits form my transparency and vulnerability. Let’s keep kicking ass.

3 Choices That Will Kill Your Art Before It's Created

The pressure to create can sometimes be stressful. There are many outside and inside forces at work that seek to destroy your creative spirit before it even lifts a finger. Here's 3 choices I have found can kill your art before it even has a chance to see daylight:

1. Waiting For Permission

Don't wait for someone else to tell you it's ok to create your art. Don't wait for an invitation. It will never come. And more urgent and "responsible" things will come to sway your attention. Create and create some more because you HAVE to.

2. Seeking Constant Validation

Everyone like's a word of encouragement, or a fist bump for your soul in the form of some Facebook Like's, Retweets, or Instagram Hearts. But basing your artistic self worth on the opinions of others is a recipe for disaster. Be who you are. Be true to YOUR art, even if you are still trying to figure out what that is. Everyone starts there. Give yourself a break.

3. Befriending Perfectionism

Wanting to be excellent is a worthy pursuit. But if you struggle with the voices of Perfectionism in your head you know all too well the following lies:  "You suck, don't even get started on this because you know it's going to fail", "What gives you the right to think someone will care about your Art when there is so much great Art out there already." and "You are not a REAL Artist. Real Artists don't make art like THAT." Kick Perfectionism in the teeth by showing up to do the work each and every day. And if you're brave enough, share your art, especially when you think it's sub-par.

Two Reasons I Expose Myself Every Day

Now that I've got your attention...

I've often heard people say that you should only show your best work. By doing so you control the image people have of you, and the quality of your work. While I agree it's important to put your best work out there, I disagree with it being the only thing people see.

We live in a world that has convinces us we must manage our image and PR ourselves to be the brightest and the best. Show no flaws. Never let them see you sweat. Believe your own hype. But the problem is, we all know that's false. No one is capable of continuously creating great work without any flaw. No one is perfect, yet that's exactly what we try to portray. Because that's what we've been told and taught. Not convinced? Just look at our filtered Instagram photos or Pinterest boards filled with professionally looking desserts and home made goodies.

I believe there is greater value in being human. Being flawed. Humble. Authentic. Showing a more complete image - the "good" and the "bad".

Now when it comes to showing our art in the internet, I believe it's no different. When I started my goal of doing a drawing (or some form of art) a day back in April, I decided that I was going to go public and expose myself. Expose my art. Gulp. And not just those pieces I felt good about. Everything. So since then I've been posting everything on Instagram. Why?

Two reasons:

1. Dealing with perfectionism. You see, if I gave in to those voices that told me what I was creating was not good enough, continually needed more work, wasn't worthy enough to share, etc. - I wouldn't post anything. Ever. But by choosing to post the "good" and the "bad" I was poking perfectionism in the eye.

2. Being authentic. When you're authentic, you are more approachable by others. They see the great work you do, but also see your struggle, your weaknesses. And because of those things, you are more relatable. How may times have you heard "Oh, I could never be as good as So-and-so... I mean just look at their talent. I'll never be that good." Wouldn't you rather learn from someone who has (and continues) to make mistakes but has learned through those errors him/herself?

I want my art, as well as my life, to be approachable. Relatable. Everyone is on a journey. And that journey has ups and downs. Success and failures. To pick out a few "best of" moments or "Masterpieces" isn't an accurate picture. And most often, just results in frustration and separation.

So I want to challenge you today. Go expose yourself. Show ALL of your work. Be real. Relatable. You just might find you inspire more people with your work and journey.